Why Toddlers Have Temper Tantrums
Many parents find their toddler’s temper tantrums bewildering and sometimes even uncomfortable. (Ever been stuck in the grocery store while one occurs? If you answered yes, then you know exactly what I mean.). How is it possible that a once-sweet baby could fall to the floor screaming and kicking? How could such a tantrum be considered normal?
Temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually occur between the ages of 1 to 3.
Kids’ temperaments vary dramatically - so some kids may experience regular tantrums, whereas others have them rarely. They’re a normal part of development and don’t have to be seen as something negative. Unlike adults, kids don’t have the same inhibitions or control.
Several basic causes of tantrums are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of kids’ frustration with the world - they can’t get something (for example, an object or a parent) to do what they want. Frustration is an unavoidable part of their lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.
Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. Imagine not being able to communicate your needs to someone - a frustrating experience that may precipitate a tantrum. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.
Another task toddlers are faced with is an increasing need for autonomy. Toddlers want a sense of independence and control over the environment - more than they may be capable of handling. This creates the perfect condition for power struggles as a child thinks “I can do it myself” or “I want it, give it to me.” When kids discover that they can’t do it and can’t have everything they want, the stage is set for a tantrum.
