The Dreaded “MINE” Syndrome
Wanting is one of the first true emotions that a child develops. A child will see something he or she wants and every fiber of their being screams.. “MINE”! Children have difficulties in the areas of compromise as well as sharing at this point. Say for example the have their hearts set on a blue sticker but you ran out so you try to hand them a yellow sticker, and no way is this yellow sticker going to suffice. Blue sticker NOW! Another trying scenario is when your child is playing with a toy while another toy lays abandoned. That is until another child tries to play with the abandoned toy. At that moment your child MUST play with both toys because, let’s face it… “It’s MINE!”. So how do we teach them about sharing and compromise? Hopefully, the tips below may help steer you in the right direction.
Teach your child how sharing works.
Toddlers often won’t share because they simply don’t understand the concept. They usually think they have to give away their toy permanently. If your only child toddler won’t share, clearly explain what the other child wants. Say something like, “Danny’s just borrowing your toys to play with here. They’re still yours, though, so he can’t take them home.”
Role play sharing
With toddlers, this could be something as simple as taking turns adding ingredients to a sandwich or turning pages of the book your reading together. With older kids, you can use role plays to help them learn when sharing is appropriate and, for those times they’d rather not share, how to explain why and what to do instead, such as offer a different toy.
Let your child see you share
There’s no better way to teach than through example. When you share with a friend, make sure your only child knows. Tell them about how your friend came over to borrow a cup of sugar or the hedge trimmers and how glad you were you could help them out by sharing with them.
Make sure your child’s things are respected.
Just like adults, children tend to get possessive of their belongings when they see those belongings mishandled. If you notice other children playing rough with your only child’s toys or books, ask them to play more gently. If it’s a frequent problem, get some tough toys your child doesn’t mind seeing thrown around.
Point out opportunities for sharing
In some households, only children can become so used to doing everything on their own that they tend to become lost in their own little world and may not notice a moment when it would be appropriate to share. Sometimes a gentle reminder like “Maybe Jane would like a snack, too.” or “Why don’t you show Bobby how your new toy works?” can help.
